How do you practice antiracism as a family? Look through the lens of Optimal Brain Growth

To share how we practice anti-racism as a white family, I need to first show you how I view anti-racism through the framework of Optimal Brain Growth.

There’s a very simple fact you need to know: YOUR CHILD’S BRAIN SEES PEOPLE’S COLORS.

From the moment a child is born (at least by 3 months when the visual system is developed), they *perceive & attend to* the physical features of people surrounding them. They differentiate between people based on facial features, hairlines, skin color, size, voice—and develop a preference for (or “unconscious bias” towards) those who seem similar or familiar. This is how the brain becomes enculturated—an expert of its own culture.

Want to know the BEAUTY of this perceptive, sensitive, adaptable brain? It learns according to what we present it with & how. When I present my child LOVINGLY with faces, voices, languages & music that are different from ours, they become familiar, interesting—BEAUTIFUL. (I’ll teach much more about how I do that, later—today is for understanding that it needs to be done).

This is important to understand, especially for those of us who are white parents or raising a white child. Why? Because it can feel uncomfortable talking about skin color, and our country’s history with race & justice. Many parents will unintentionally or intentionally avoid addressing these issues at home or with friends. Some will attempt to teach children “not to see color”, or will convince themselves that they don’t.

*But those efforts are not consistent with what we know about how the brain works*. The brain sees color, and develops preferences & biases based on how the world is presented to it.

Knowing how the brain works, what do we do? Here are 2 steps just to start: 1) allow your child to say what they see, honestly—embrace their brain’s perceptiveness & curiosity; 2) help them describe it ✨with interest and LOVE✨. Observe colors of people the way you observe colors in a painting, rhythms of music. LET IT BE BEAUTIFUL—IT IS!

What colors does your child see?

Racism and Antiracism begin at home

I remember sitting in the audience to hear Ibram X Kendi talk about his book, How To Be An Anti-Racist, and loving every single moment... and then dropping my jaw when he said these words (which I wrote down immediately so I would never forget them):

“The principal teachers of racist ideas in society are parents. And therefore parents can be the principal teachers of anti-racist ideas.”

The thing is, I KNEW this to be true, and I had been practicing anti-racism as a parent to the best of my ability (which grows over time, and more than anything, through my relationships).

But I just had never heard anyone state this truth so simply. And to hear this man speak of his life’s work as something that grew out of and through his relationship with his father, really moved me. And his work is moving enough without knowing a single other thing about him! But here he was letting us in on a part of his life, and a universal truth:

Racism, AND anti-racism, begin at home.

This week we will talk about ways to practice anti-racism in the family. I will share many of the ways I practice this with children at different ages, and would love to hear your stories. We will also learn why doing this will shape your child’s brain in ways that affect other children, especially those who are marginalized or oppressed.

What’s one way you’re learning to practice anti-racism?

#antiracism #antiracistfamilies #optimalbraingrowth #growingbrains #connection #findrhythmbuildconnection #youarenotalone #imhereforyou

The work of Optimal Brain Growth isn't yours to do for your child: it's theirs.

There’s something fundamental that I want you to know now about supporting your child’s Optimal Brain Growth:

Their own brain is doing most of the work. Yep—they’re even more powerful and capable than you realize!

Does that mean that what you as the adult do doesn’t matter? Not at all: on the contrary, you’re the person responsible for setting them up for success in their environment, and in their community.

But it also means that ***you don’t need to grow their brain for them***.

For many of you, this will take a little pressure off, right?!

...for others, that idea might actually feel a little uncomfortable. That’s okay.

Either way, we can come to understand the principles of brain growth so that we’re parenting from a place that‘s calm and clear... and MUCH more empowered!

This fact of self-growth is true for infants through adolescents—what you need to understand is not as much what the “right” activities are at each age, as *how to apply this principle to your child at EVERY AGE*..

I’ll give examples all week about how the child’s brain grows itself—from exploring their own body and environment, to seeking out meaningful work that truly challenges their brain, to engaging in significant social interactions with other individuals of all ages (and how it’s best to do that during this time of social distancing!) And of course, I’ll tell you what your role is—and what it isn’t (whew!)

But for today, I want you to pause on this thought: the bulk of the WORK of Optimal Brain Growth isn’t yours to do... *it’s theirs*.

Tell me: do you want to witness your child doing their own work of Optimal Brain Growth? Do you already see it happening... or, do you need to see it more?