Today, Dame Evelyn Glennie reminded why it is so important to LISTEN--and to teach our children to.

56 minutes and 17 seconds ago, I got off of a call with one of my role models in music and life, and I will never be the same.

She is a the world’s premier solo percussionist, Grammy winner… and she is deaf. Her name is Dame Evelyn Glennie.

Before getting on the call with her, I needed to do a small meditation to calm my beating heart and racing brain. It is not every day that you get to see and speak with a living role model, and I will just say that she is as elegant as she is brilliant. (I also sat in quiet after the call, to process everything I heard from her and to receive it into my brain, heart and BONES).

We talked about many issues around music, the brain and body… and how we can teach people through our work that music is for everyone.

Evelyn is a master who knows the power of music. What is so special about her, though, is that her lack of hearing has given her a power to listen on a much deeper level: through her body, and through what she calls the “instrument” of the space around her.

People with hearing often don’t understand how rich the world can sometimes be without hearing. Evelyn shared that when people ask her how she hears music, she answers, “I live music”. She said that the note she hears is never just a “C”—but that she lives with the particular sound of a particular bar on a particular marimba in a particular moment… and that note is never the same. Listening takes time and experience, and she lives through that experience.

She also said that what she hears depends on he environment around her, what she is wearing, how she is feeling, what she is physically doing.

Do you hear that? Sound is a lived experience that changes dynamically, based on so many factors that are internal and external.

Another way of saying that is: what you hear is not independent of YOU. What you hear is shaped by you. When you listen, you are interacting with the sound. (My research on how music—especially rhythm—is not just for our ears, but is a stimulus for and a product of our auditory, motor and vestibular systems, is completely consistent with this. And now you see one more reason this amazing woman is my role model!)

Evelyn wants people to know that music is not something separate from them. It is about listening. For all of us.

So, for those of us who want to learn how to listen more—and for teach our children how to—what should we do? There is SO MUCH to take from her words, but I wanted to draw out 3 points that strike me as very important both as a listener, and as a mother:

The first is this: tune in. Notice what you hear. Remember that the sound you hear is shaped in part by YOU. Yes, sound is a physical construct that may begin outside of you… but what reaches inside of you? THAT is much more personal. Hear—or feel—the sound that comes in. See what you can get from it by listening a little more deeply.

Second: what you hear is not what I hear. Recognize that listening is not a passive process, but an active one. Notice when others hear something different than you, and acknowledge that it is shaped by their listening. For example, when a child or loved one tells you they heard something different than you, how do you respond? Do you allow them to have their own lived experience? Do you allow your listening to change dynamically, and be adaptive? Listening is active, and it will never be exactly the same. And that is beautiful.

Here is the third thing, for now: let your child learn that listening is a lived experience. Children are naturally attuned to their senses. Adults can sometimes unintentionally (or intentionally) get in the way, for example by asking children to pay attention to what WE think they should be paying attention to, instead of what is capturing their brain in the moment. Let them explore. Let them listen. Let them touch, and feel, and play, and IMPROVISE. Children are NEVER wrong for wanting to do those things. Their brains are growing from their lived experience.

And you know what? The child that learns to listen deeply, might just help you connect to the sound of the music, in way you never imagined.

My deepest gratitude to Dame Evelyn Glennie.

©JPS Research & Education, LLC