I’ve spent the past days quiet, trying to pull from my heart how I want to say the most important thing I can say about supporting antiracism for our children’s growing brains, and here’s the best I can do at this moment:
THE WAY TO VALUE OTHERS IS TO LOVE AND HOLD THEM IN YOUR LIFE.
This week I shared a meager bit about how I view antiracism through my lens of Optimal Brain Growth, and how we practice antiracism in our home (with humility—I’m not an expert on race or racism; I just know about what the developing brain needs and how antiracism is a set of skills that needs to be practiced just like language, music & art).
The thing I can’t get around is this: we can read the most beautiful books, study (not appropriate—STUDY) the world’s greatest music and art, we can and must use our resources including time, money and energy to support antiracist causes... but I don’t see any way that we can EMBODY antiracism and love of Black people, and prevent antiblackness, if we don’t have loving relationships with Black people in our own life.
Here’s the single most important way that I as white mother embody love & Realism (and practice antiracism) with my white children: by HAVING LOVING RELATIONSHIPS with our Black friends.
Nothing about our loving relationships with our Black friends is *any more or any less perfect* than our loving relationships with our non-Black family & friends. We share ourselves deeply, we listen and hold them deeply, we make mistakes, we repair, we grow. Because we love.
Ibram X Kendi said today that when asked why he does his work, he says it is “because I love”.
So to tie together this week I needed to try to put this into words and ask of you, of all of us, to observe whether we & our children live in authentic, loving relationship with our Black friends & loved ones.
This is what I know about the child’s beautiful, growing brain: it LOVES WHO IT IS ALLOWED TO LOVE, and is shaped by that, daily, above all else.
#optimalbraingrowth #growingbrains #antiracism #practicelove